Its all just a dream

elperedor @ 2007-11-17T23:00:00

2007-11-18T04:00:45Z

i am.

I just don't know where home is right now.

2007-11-13T07:05:06Z

Right now, because I can't sleep, I'm going to go outside and search the sky for a star that shines as brightly as everything I felt, everything i feel with you... but I know I wont be able to find that star, because nothing shines as bright.

Just know that no matter what ever happens
no matter how much time passes
if you ever miss me
you can look into the night sky
find the brightest star
and smile, even if only a little
just knowing that it pales in comparison.

and if so much time passes that one day you realize you can't remember the shape of my face or the sound of my voice
rest assured that there's still a you-shaped hole in my life
i'm going to leave it open.

I don't even know what I am talking about anymore
I haven't slept more than about 5 minutes in like 36 hours.

elperedor @ 2007-11-08T19:21:00

2007-11-09T00:22:08Z

maybe ill just play dead for a while.

elperedor @ 2007-10-16T15:26:00

2007-10-16T19:26:31Z

therein lies the difference

elperedor @ 2007-10-12T15:40:00

2007-10-12T19:41:49Z

who knows?

who knows who knows who knows?

elperedor @ 2007-10-07T18:49:00

2007-10-07T22:51:37Z

So here's the deal...

I'm going to change around my whole life.
Call it what you will...

I have a list of things to do.

Its starts small and ends big.

It starts today; now.

See you then.

elperedor @ 2007-10-01T04:22:00

2007-10-01T08:23:31Z

now autumn has fallen

everythings changed.........

ill smoke two. one for me and one for you.

2007-09-23T20:38:09Z

sometimes things seem really dark....

all you have to do is open your eyes.

elperedor @ 2007-09-17T01:53:00

2007-09-17T05:54:36Z

I am he

as you are he

and you are me

and we are all together.

im corny. still.

2007-09-12T02:54:14Z

the crickets are outside singing their loves songs to one another
sometimes i think i can hear what they're saying
they say what I want to with an eloquence much greater than my own.
roughly translated it goes:

i love you
i miss you
i want to be near you

I finally have my brain figured out.
It took a click and a snap

but now I feel much better

:)

make me something beautiful.

<3

elperedor @ 2007-09-10T00:34:00

2007-09-10T04:40:41Z

tim allen has always reminded me of my dad.

                                                    up.

                                           up

                                  up

things are going up

lets keep it that way.

Ill be home soon to be with you.
and I cant wait

elperedor @ 2007-09-06T04:40:00

2007-09-06T08:46:01Z

everything about you is beautiful.

you make me smile so much, and it make everything else just melt away.

if that day comes.... it will be the most amazing day of my life

but until then, lets make every second we spend together better than anything else.
like we always do.

this doesnt make too much sense.... im tired.

but yeah.

i love you.

and HEY! ALL OF YOU OTHER KIDS OUT THERE!
CHEER THE FUCK UP WILL YA?!
YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE SO WHY WASTE IT BEING ALL SAD AND MOPEY??????

SMILE DAMNIT!

THERES A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE THAT LOVES YOU.

<3

elperedor @ 2007-09-04T16:32:00

2007-09-04T20:33:33Z

smile.

everyone.

elperedor @ 2007-08-26T19:34:00

2007-08-26T23:35:02Z

i feel content.

its nice.

elperedor @ 2007-08-26T04:20:00

2007-08-26T08:20:47Z

charles bukowski didn't die alone.

another corny post.

2007-08-24T05:44:02Z

As i stood in the bar and watched the second to last band play, I looked around at those in attendance. These are the kids of my generation. The funny thing is they all pretty much looked like a huge group of tools. I wonder what they think when they look at me, though. Probably the same thing, just another tool.

Its funny when you stop and think about it. Each and every person is living out their own life. Not yours. They all have their own hopes, dreams, and problems. Each one has their own place where they feel safe, and their own group of friends to which they feel they belong. They have all, or will eventually, fallen in love and most likely had their hearts broken.

This world is a huge place, and you will never be able to be friends with, or get to know, or impress everyone. Its a scary feeling when you realize how small and insignificant your own life is.

Thats why I'm glad I have that one person. Someone who I mean the world to. You can't feel insignificant when you're in love, because to at least one person you can mean so much more than a room full of tools.

I guess I'm just rambling.

I need to change certain things in my life, but all the while, I feel perfect in my own skin knowing that there is someone out there who loves me.

elperedor @ 2007-08-23T18:46:00

2007-08-23T22:46:27Z

im dizzy.

suggestions.

2007-08-15T05:48:25Z

slow your breathing.
close your eyes.
count backwards from ten.
10...

hi.
im home from school.

its a nice feeling.

9..

i actually had a good birthday
and you were there!
and you and you and you.
but it was all really because of you.
thank you for that.

8...

whats on your mind?
id love to know.
i cant tell much these days

7...

what was that?
im sorry i didnt hear you.
your voice drifts in and out like the tide.

6...

your eyes wander...
off on some marvelous adventure
someplace you would much rather be.

5...

your fingers
strangers to everything they touch
i remember
but they must have forgotten

4...

you return.
or maybe you never left
maybe it was i who did
it usually is me.

3...

in a flash the world spins
everything is a beautiful blur of color and heat
intense pleasure the likes of which i have never before felt.
in this moment i feel truly happy

2...

like laces we twist
a lyric sung
a familiar melody
a familiar feeling
being happy. its like riding a bike, you never forget how.

1...

still things change
and i guess you just have to accept things like that
being happy is all about letting yourself
and im going to let myself.

0...

close your eyes and go to sleep.
when you wake up its a new day.
a new chance to turn it all around
to fall in love
to laugh
to smile
make memories that will stay with you the rest of your life.

mika.
youre pretty much the only one who reads this.
and yeah, i say it too much, but i love you with all my heart.
im ready for anything the future has to hold for us.
with you by my side... anythings possible.
oh corny old me.

tomorrow is a new day
a whole new set of opportunities.
sweet dreams.

All eyes on the calendar.

2007-08-12T05:55:23Z

Happy Birthday To Me.

elperedor @ 2007-08-10T13:35:00

2007-08-10T17:36:30Z

If I'm sick for this birthday i am canceling all subsequent birthdays.

That is all.

elperedor @ 2007-08-09T02:00:00

2007-08-09T06:01:37Z

all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.
all of a sudden i miss everyone.

epistemology

2007-08-07T22:06:55Z

prove to me, right now, that youre not in a dream.

i keep drinking the poison and smoking the cartons, a pack and a half a day...

2007-08-02T03:27:03Z

Someone tell me a fond memory you have of me.

add pictures if you have them, thatd be nice.

im feeling antisocial tonight, everyone is out except me.

so you should do this.

elperedor @ 2007-08-01T20:21:00

2007-08-02T00:21:59Z

because no matter how many crazy ideas i get into my head that make me freak out and worry you still stay patient with me and talk me down.

thats just one way i know that you love me.

i miss you

2007-07-24T07:22:08Z

we'd get drunk and kiss
our bodies twist like shoelaces
and we never came untied
i guess you were just my type.